Poop Coffee

How do we find out these things?

Over the course of human existence, we’ve discovered a lot of things, mostly by trial and error, or blind luck. Fire was a big one. Penicillin that has saved millions of lives, was an accident. Determining which things growing out of the ground was ok to eat, well, that had have lead to some mistakes.

So, how did we come to the conclusion that coffee beans that were eaten by an animal, and excreted out later partially digested, made a good cup of coffee?

For those of you that aren’t aware of this cultural curiosity, let me introduce you to Kopi luwak.

Kopi luwak, also known as Civet coffee, is the beans harvested from Civet excrement, washed, roasted, and sold for a hefty price tag. Prices range from $100 to $500 dollars a pound, although you can find it a bit less on amazon. It’s certainly more expensive than that pikes roast you buy from Starbucks, or those boutique high caffeine coffees like Death Wish.

I heard about this after watching an episode of Bizarre Foods on the food network years ago. I dismissed it at the time, as I wasn’t a coffee snob back then (I’m still not really). I grew up on Folgers, and back then if you wanted a cup of coffee you went to a diner or restaurant. The whole coffee retail business came much later.

But now as an older adult, I can stretch my wings a bit and enjoy spending a bit more for coffee that actually tastes good. My personal favorite is Kona coffee from Hawaii. It’s not cheap, but the flavor is amazing and unique. The best part of Kona is that it’s far less acidic so it causes less problems with your guts.

Civet coffee is supposed to offer similar benefits.

Looking online, I found a Kopi luwak whole bean offering for about $68 dollars a pound. The issue is that because it’s so expensive, you know that those poor civets are being farmed and exploited instead of just gathering the beans in the wild. It’s also impossible to tell which company gets their beans ethically or not. If you care about such things. Companies can make whatever claims they want, they exist outside of the US and can say anything.

But, the bag of coffee I bought claimed to be wild harvested, so I ordered one to see what the fuss is all about.

Of course, how a coffee tastes can wildly differ, depending on how it’s treated so your mileage may vary.

The beans themselves are not as dark as your regular coffee beans, and slightly lighter in color once ground up. I am still a luddite and only drink drip coffee out of my little Mr Coffee pot.

I brewed up a pot, and poured myself a mug of joe. I took my first tentative (hey, it’s poop coffee) sip and….

Meh.

It’s really bland. It lacks any real distinctive notes of anything. As one critic said, it’s bad, it tastes like Folgers and I agree. It certainly doesn’t live up to the hype surrounding it. I’ll stick to my Kona coffee, thank you very much.

This is the Kona Coffee I buy and heartily recommend.

Full disclosure, as I mentioned I am far from a coffee connoisseur. I don’t own a french press, or an espresso machine. I have a Keurig when I am in a hurry, otherwise I just drink drip coffee. When I go to a Starbucks or other establishments, I just order drip, none of that fancy stuff. The fanciest I’d ever order would be a double tall mocha. A little whipped cream on top. That’s it.

Have you tried poop coffee yourself? What did you think? Had you even heard about this before? What is your go-to caffeine fix?